If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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