I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
