I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
