I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
