becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
