i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
