Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Enjoy the penises
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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