Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
