Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize