Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
