I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize