It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
