he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
