Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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