Duck Duck Cougar?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
