PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
