i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
