you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
