Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize