we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
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