I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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