I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
