you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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