just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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