Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
