hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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