she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Dicks are not precious.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize