All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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