I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
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