he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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