R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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