how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
third nipple confirmed
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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