At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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