It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
i need some magic done to my vagina
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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