Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I want to be your penis for a week.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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