i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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