from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
