what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
