I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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