oh god the rape fog is back!
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize