A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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