But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
