I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
My day in three words: secret purse cake
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
