Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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