Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
FUCK WHALES
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
