with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
