Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
