3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
