I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
