it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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