it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
