i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
