How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
