I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You can't just leave with hair like that
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
