I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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