Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
