Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
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