it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize