Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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