i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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