i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
