I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
